Movie humor time!
Stuff to do (or not?) while watching "The Passion of The Christ"
1) Yell "Jesus is so HOT!"
2) Sing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" during the crucifixion scene
3) Declare "It's only a flesh wound!"
4) The Judean People's Front.. or is it the People's Front of Judea?
5) At the Last Supper when Jesus transmutates the wine and bread, don't shout, "We already got one."
6) "Peter... I can see your house from here."
7) Halfway through, shout out, "I know this story! The main character dies, right?"
8) "Y'know what this movie needs? A car chase! And maybe a bomb on a bus."
9) Just before the resurrection yell, "He's dead Jim...or not..."
10) Yell "Run Jesus Run"
11) "Where's Rufus? They missed an Apostle!"
12) "Hate to burst your bubble guys, but that guy's not dark enough to be Jesus."
13) What the...?
I thought this had something to do with , ' The LORD of the Rings: Return of the KING '.
WTF is this??!!
Is this fiction? Who the hell would allow themselves to be pegged on a cross willingly? And whear is Xena? She'll kick them Roman asses.....
14) 'Welease Bwian!!!!'
15) "That's not Willem Dafoe! I wan't my money back..."
16) "What are they saying? Why the hell can't they speak American?"
17) "Weren't there tanks last time I saw this? And a lot more singing?"
18) "When does the sequel come out?"
19) Who's this long-haired sissy hippy talkin all about lovin and forgivin?
20) 'I've seen better crucifixions at my local Goth nightclub....'
21) "Nails! Thorny crowns! Get yer Passion merchandise here! Nails!...."
22) "Oh my God! They killed Jesus! You Bastards!"
23) "What a lousy way to spend Easter!"
24) "Hes not the messiah, hes a very naughty boy, now p*ss off!"
25) Stand around with a tray, like one of those ancient ice cream sellers you used to get in cinemas, shouting: "Larks' tongues. Wrens' livers. Chaffinch brains. Jaguars' earlobes. Wolf nipple chips. Get 'em while they're hot. They're lovely. Dromedary pretzels, only half a denar. Tuscany fried bats."
26) "Sod this for a lark, where's my bloody Easter Egg?"
27) "So, wait, We get like a three day weekend out of that?"
28) "Where do I sign up for Shavuot, talk about over the hump day, Oy."
29) "I don't get it. Australians killed Jebus?"
30) "Duuuude, his mom totally did it with God."
31) "The book was better."
32) "Hmph. My mistress whips harder than that."
33) He should've went with Hari Krishna.......the worst he'd gotten was a sh*t-kickin' at the airport.
34) Watch for the part where his eyes begin to glow...and say, " For cryin' out loud, he was a Goa-uld all along..."
35) "HEY!! You guys in the front row.........when they hoist him up, peek under his loin cloth and tell us if he really IS Jewish!"
36) "Yeesh - I'm with Kevin Smith; the Buddy Christ is just SO much more uplifting."
37) "Wait...I thought this was a Mel Gibson movie...why isn't it Mel getting some loin cloth action?!"
38) "I bet Catholics are happy they crucified him instead of decapitating him.......they'd have to karate chop each other instead of making the cross at the altar!"
1) Yell "Jesus is so HOT!"
2) Sing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" during the crucifixion scene
3) Declare "It's only a flesh wound!"
4) The Judean People's Front.. or is it the People's Front of Judea?
5) At the Last Supper when Jesus transmutates the wine and bread, don't shout, "We already got one."
6) "Peter... I can see your house from here."
7) Halfway through, shout out, "I know this story! The main character dies, right?"
8) "Y'know what this movie needs? A car chase! And maybe a bomb on a bus."
9) Just before the resurrection yell, "He's dead Jim...or not..."
10) Yell "Run Jesus Run"
11) "Where's Rufus? They missed an Apostle!"
12) "Hate to burst your bubble guys, but that guy's not dark enough to be Jesus."
13) What the...?
I thought this had something to do with , ' The LORD of the Rings: Return of the KING '.
WTF is this??!!
Is this fiction? Who the hell would allow themselves to be pegged on a cross willingly? And whear is Xena? She'll kick them Roman asses.....
14) 'Welease Bwian!!!!'
15) "That's not Willem Dafoe! I wan't my money back..."
16) "What are they saying? Why the hell can't they speak American?"
17) "Weren't there tanks last time I saw this? And a lot more singing?"
18) "When does the sequel come out?"
19) Who's this long-haired sissy hippy talkin all about lovin and forgivin?
20) 'I've seen better crucifixions at my local Goth nightclub....'
21) "Nails! Thorny crowns! Get yer Passion merchandise here! Nails!...."
22) "Oh my God! They killed Jesus! You Bastards!"
23) "What a lousy way to spend Easter!"
24) "Hes not the messiah, hes a very naughty boy, now p*ss off!"
25) Stand around with a tray, like one of those ancient ice cream sellers you used to get in cinemas, shouting: "Larks' tongues. Wrens' livers. Chaffinch brains. Jaguars' earlobes. Wolf nipple chips. Get 'em while they're hot. They're lovely. Dromedary pretzels, only half a denar. Tuscany fried bats."
26) "Sod this for a lark, where's my bloody Easter Egg?"
27) "So, wait, We get like a three day weekend out of that?"
28) "Where do I sign up for Shavuot, talk about over the hump day, Oy."
29) "I don't get it. Australians killed Jebus?"
30) "Duuuude, his mom totally did it with God."
31) "The book was better."
32) "Hmph. My mistress whips harder than that."
33) He should've went with Hari Krishna.......the worst he'd gotten was a sh*t-kickin' at the airport.
34) Watch for the part where his eyes begin to glow...and say, " For cryin' out loud, he was a Goa-uld all along..."
35) "HEY!! You guys in the front row.........when they hoist him up, peek under his loin cloth and tell us if he really IS Jewish!"
36) "Yeesh - I'm with Kevin Smith; the Buddy Christ is just SO much more uplifting."
37) "Wait...I thought this was a Mel Gibson movie...why isn't it Mel getting some loin cloth action?!"
38) "I bet Catholics are happy they crucified him instead of decapitating him.......they'd have to karate chop each other instead of making the cross at the altar!"
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home